Darwin's 2006

In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin
Awards the annual honour given to the person who improved the "gene
pool" the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid
way. As always, competition this year has been keen. And the candidates
this year are.............

IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel
Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had
been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.

People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels,
trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but
could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost
an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on.

Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first
through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

HONOURABLE MENTION:

Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in
their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite
and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

RUNNER UP:

TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one
of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at
4:30AM.

Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one
had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby.
One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end
was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.

He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was
rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say"
said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night.
There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never
located.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND THE WINNER:

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
him.

"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no
one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.

It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that really proves that
sh1t does happen!"

FâR Qúëúë blathered...
>
> It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that really proves that
> sh1t does happen!"
>
This 'punchline' type comment makes me wonder if the Darwin Awaards are
still as genuine as they used to be.
--
Bev.

Bev wrote

> FâR Qúëúë blathered...
> >
> > It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that really proves that
> > sh1t does happen!"
> >
> This 'punchline' type comment makes me wonder if the Darwin Awaards are
> still as genuine as they used to be.
>

There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I
don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists
upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or
the BBC.

Sharky wrote

> the weight of a bloke landing on you isn't going to kill or
> smother you.
>

I'll take your word for that !

http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html

Hiya FâR Qúëúë.

In <news:MPG.1f79d4bc8c05a7d989b4c@news.readfreenews. net> you wrote:

> There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I
> don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists
> upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or
> the BBC.

The elephant is an urban legend, so says the official site:

http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html

--
Return mail is valid and used to keep my main mailbox spam free.
Ponder - Homepage: http://www.colinjones.co.uk ICQ# 1707811
Skittles Team: http://www.ddskittles.co.uk
M4 Eastbound - To Hell and back!

Hiya FâR Qúëúë.

In <news:MPG.1f79eccbf0d19751989b52@news.readfreenews .net> you wrote:

> I'll take your word for that !
> http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html

Arse

--
Return mail is valid and used to keep my main mailbox spam free.
Ponder - Homepage: http://www.colinjones.co.uk ICQ# 1707811
Skittles Team: http://www.ddskittles.co.uk
M4 Eastbound - To Hell and back!

Ponder wrote

> > There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I
> > don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists
> > upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or
> > the BBC.
>
> The elephant is an urban legend, so says the official site:
>
> http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html
>
>

That's the same link I posted.

Without fear of sounding daft FâR Qúëúë wibbled...

> Ponder wrote
>
>
>>> There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I
>>> don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists
>>> upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or
>>> the BBC.
>>
>> The elephant is an urban legend, so says the official site:
>>
>> http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html
>>
>>
>
> That's the same link I posted.

Yes but Ponder kindly re-posted it for the majority of us, who think your
an idiot and ignore you.

--
JustaBloke
http://www.justabloke.com

"JustaBloke" <thebloke@justabloke.com> wrote in
>
> Yes but Ponder kindly re-posted it for the majority of us, who think your
> an idiot and ignore you.
>

Glad to see you and Farc are still courting, thought i might have missed the
wedding while i was away

	#1
FâR Qúëúë	Darwin's 2006 In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin Awards the annual honour given to the person who improved the "gene pool" the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen. And the candidates this year are............. IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ HONOURABLE MENTION: Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ RUNNER UP: TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that really proves that sh1t does happen!"

	#2
Bev	Re: Darwin's 2006 FâR Qúëúë blathered... > > It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that really proves that > sh1t does happen!" > This 'punchline' type comment makes me wonder if the Darwin Awaards are still as genuine as they used to be. -- Bev.

	#3
FâR Qúëúë	Re: Darwin's 2006 Bev wrote > FâR Qúëúë blathered... > > > > It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that really proves that > > sh1t does happen!" > > > This 'punchline' type comment makes me wonder if the Darwin Awaards are > still as genuine as they used to be. > There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or the BBC.

	#4
FâR Qúëúë	Re: Darwin's 2006 Sharky wrote > the weight of a bloke landing on you isn't going to kill or > smother you. > I'll take your word for that ! http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html

	#5
Ponder	Re: Darwin's 2006 Hiya FâR Qúëúë. In <news:MPG.1f79d4bc8c05a7d989b4c@news.readfreenews. net> you wrote: > There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I > don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists > upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or > the BBC. The elephant is an urban legend, so says the official site: http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html -- Return mail is valid and used to keep my main mailbox spam free. Ponder - Homepage: http://www.colinjones.co.uk ICQ# 1707811 Skittles Team: http://www.ddskittles.co.uk M4 Eastbound - To Hell and back!

	#7
FâR Qúëúë	Re: Darwin's 2006 Ponder wrote > > There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I > > don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists > > upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or > > the BBC. > > The elephant is an urban legend, so says the official site: > > http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html > > That's the same link I posted.

	#8
JustaBloke	Re: Darwin's 2006 Without fear of sounding daft FâR Qúëúë wibbled... > Ponder wrote > > >>> There are several sites doing them now. I nicked that listing, so I >>> don't know where they came from. I do know at least one site insists >>> upon confirmation of entries from another source, like a newspaper or >>> the BBC. >> >> The elephant is an urban legend, so says the official site: >> >> http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-09.html >> >> > > That's the same link I posted. Yes but Ponder kindly re-posted it for the majority of us, who think your an idiot and ignore you. -- JustaBloke http://www.justabloke.com

	#9
Tony	Re: Darwin's 2006 "JustaBloke" <thebloke@justabloke.com> wrote in > > Yes but Ponder kindly re-posted it for the majority of us, who think your > an idiot and ignore you. > Glad to see you and Farc are still courting, thought i might have missed the wedding while i was away