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  #1
Amadeus Jinn
 
Default Slip Wash


The blindness leads the slip through dim lit streets
Of hurling wraiths and sometimes murky feats
I am just dust and watered down to mud
The substance of my waters and my blood
Reveal that I can't ever free.
And, no, knots flirt the decks untied
The floating god of ghost and mud-clad man.

If pompous waters boast -- the liquids ride
On blindness seeing curls form in the spine
As curling lines of slip define the tides.
The rails on decks of death and pomp, the blind
In waters, yes. but slip has told of pride.
Before the dawn unknotted ghosts and god
Did deal and dice the fools and all for good.


--
AJ - http://Here.Nu
http://Midis.Here.Nu
http://Art.Here.Nu


 
  #2
George Dance
 
Default Re: Slip Wash

On Jun 15, 5:42 pm, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote:
> The blindness leads the slip through dim lit streets
> Of hurling wraiths and sometimes murky feats
> I am just dust and watered down to mud
> The substance of my waters and my blood
> Reveal that I can't ever free.
> And, no, knots flirt the decks untied
> The floating god of ghost and mud-clad man.
>
> If pompous waters boast -- the liquids ride
> On blindness seeing curls form in the spine
> As curling lines of slip define the tides.
> The rails on decks of death and pomp, the blind
> In waters, yes. but slip has told of pride.
> Before the dawn unknotted ghosts and god
> Did deal and dice the fools and all for good.
>



I regret that you posted when I'm in the middle of working 5 12-hour
nights in a row, with little time to comment. This is just to let you
know that I've read, and I plan to comment later.

One quick question: Why, in LL 5-7, dos the whole thing turn
momentarily into free verse?


 
  #3
Amadeus Jinn
 
Default Re: Slip Wash


"George Dance" <georgedance04@yahoo.ca> wrote in message news:1182203709.257825.177570@a26g2000pre.googlegr oups.com...
> On Jun 15, 5:42 pm, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote:
>> The blindness leads the slip through dim lit streets
>> Of hurling wraiths and sometimes murky feats
>> I am just dust and watered down to mud
>> The substance of my waters and my blood
>> Reveal that I can't ever free.
>> And, no, knots flirt the decks untied
>> The floating god of ghost and mud-clad man.
>>
>> If pompous waters boast -- the liquids ride
>> On blindness seeing curls form in the spine
>> As curling lines of slip define the tides.
>> The rails on decks of death and pomp, the blind
>> In waters, yes. but slip has told of pride.
>> Before the dawn unknotted ghosts and god
>> Did deal and dice the fools and all for good.
>>

>
>
> I regret that you posted when I'm in the middle of working 5 12-hour
> nights in a row, with little time to comment. This is just to let you
> know that I've read, and I plan to comment later


No need, if you're busy

>
> One quick question: Why, in LL 5-7, dos the whole thing turn
> momentarily into free verse?


There are 2 tetrameter lines, right?
They musth've snuck in with the mercury.


--
AJ - http://Here.Nu
http://Midis.Here.Nu
http://Art.Here.Nu


>
>



 
  #4
George Dance
 
Default Re: Slip Wash

On Jun 15, 5:42 pm, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote:
> The blindness leads the slip through dim lit streets
> Of hurling wraiths and sometimes murky feats
> I am just dust and watered down to mud
> The substance of my waters and my blood
> Reveal that I can't ever free.
> And, no, knots flirt the decks untied
> The floating god of ghost and mud-clad man.
>
> If pompous waters boast -- the liquids ride
> On blindness seeing curls form in the spine
> As curling lines of slip define the tides.
> The rails on decks of death and pomp, the blind
> In waters, yes. but slip has told of pride.
> Before the dawn unknotted ghosts and god
> Did deal and dice the fools and all for good.
>



I regret that you posted when I'm in the middle of working 5 12-hour
nights in a row, with little time to comment. This is just to let you
know that I've read, and I plan to comment later.

One quick question: Why, in LL 5-7, dos the whole thing turn
momentarily into free verse?


 
  #5
Amadeus Jinn
 
Default Re: Slip Wash


"George Dance" <georgedance04@yahoo.ca> wrote in message news:1182203709.257825.177570@a26g2000pre.googlegr oups.com...
> On Jun 15, 5:42 pm, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote:
>> The blindness leads the slip through dim lit streets
>> Of hurling wraiths and sometimes murky feats
>> I am just dust and watered down to mud
>> The substance of my waters and my blood
>> Reveal that I can't ever free.
>> And, no, knots flirt the decks untied
>> The floating god of ghost and mud-clad man.
>>
>> If pompous waters boast -- the liquids ride
>> On blindness seeing curls form in the spine
>> As curling lines of slip define the tides.
>> The rails on decks of death and pomp, the blind
>> In waters, yes. but slip has told of pride.
>> Before the dawn unknotted ghosts and god
>> Did deal and dice the fools and all for good.
>>

>
>
> I regret that you posted when I'm in the middle of working 5 12-hour
> nights in a row, with little time to comment. This is just to let you
> know that I've read, and I plan to comment later


No need, if you're busy

>
> One quick question: Why, in LL 5-7, dos the whole thing turn
> momentarily into free verse?


There are 2 tetrameter lines, right?
They musth've snuck in with the mercury.


--
AJ - http://Here.Nu
http://Midis.Here.Nu
http://Art.Here.Nu


>
>



 
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