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Ideas of March
Ideas of March
[sung to a Sousa beat] Shuffling off to Babylon to be born again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, they march past tanks and massed artillery, machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust that cakes itself in every liquid pore and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- Forward they march, to serve their country well, to die again, and be reborn in Hell. |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> Ideas of March > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote:
> On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > > > > > > Ideas of March > > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet - I'm just discovering how to make them read like free verse. |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 15, 8:06?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: > > > > > > > On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > > > Ideas of March > > > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > > > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > > > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > > > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > > > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > > > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > > > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > > > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > > > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > > > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > > > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > > > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > > > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > > > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > > nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- > > Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet - I'm just discovering how to make them read > like free verse.- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - cooler still.......keep up th good work |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 15, 3:09 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> Ideas of March > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. Interesting; I just went over the end-rhymes again, and found this: Fragments of Ideas of March born infantry artillery mourn dust pore just more mother children another kill them well Hell. -------- Not that bad itself, IMHO. |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 15, 2:09 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> Ideas of March > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. Right-hander. |
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Re: Ideas of March
"George Dance" <georgedance04@yahoo.ca> wrote in message news:1179273984.778898.140080@e65g2000hsc.googlegr oups.com... > On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: >> On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: >> >> >> >> >> >> > Ideas of March >> > [sung to a Sousa beat] >> >> > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born >> > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, >> > they march past tanks and massed artillery, >> > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn >> > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust >> > that cakes itself in every liquid pore >> > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just >> > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- >> > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother >> > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children >> > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, >> > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- >> > Forward they march, to serve their country well, >> > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. >> >> nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- > > > Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet Really? There is a wap on the top. > - I'm just discovering how to make them read > like free verse. -- ------------------------------------------- AJ - http://ClitIns.Com e In. (800 folders. -- kiddie-filtered -- FREE, Usenet Porn.) |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 16, 3:19 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote:
> "George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179273984.778898.140080@e65g2000hsc.g ooglegroups.com... > > On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: > >> On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > >> > Ideas of March > >> > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > >> > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > >> > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > >> > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > >> > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > >> > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > >> > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > >> > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > >> > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > >> > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > >> > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > >> > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > >> > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > >> > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > >> > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > >> nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- > > > Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet > > Really? There is a wap on the top. > Sousa? He's as American as Old Glory itself. "If you knew Sousa, like I knew Sousa ..." And some kid may get an A in a essay, years hence, on Sousa as the symbol connecting ancient Rome (of the title) with the modern U.S. The idea of adding on a tune came from Vachel Lindsay; something else to blame Dennis for, if you want, as he's the one who pointed me in Lindsay's direction. (Sad how Lindsay's name & work has been expunged by political correctness.) |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 15, 11:41 pm, OB <nevilemo...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On May 15, 2:09 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > > > > > > Ideas of March > > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > Right-hander.- Thanks. I'm learning from both my successes and my mistakes (so keep pointing 'em out). Here's an example: both you and Ross pointed out that, in Busride, the word 'I' in L2 was way too prominent - off to the right of the rest of the poem. I wouldn't have seen that previously. Knowing about it here, though, allowed me to use that effect on the second "Just" in L7, the key word in the whole piece. I'm thinking about submitting to a magazine. I've been holding back, since one piece of advice I've received and listened to was: Don't send magazines your first, amateur efforts - if you do, then by the time you've learned to write they won't be opening your mail any more. But I think I'm ready. What's your candid opinion? |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 16, 10:05�am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On May 15, 11:41 pm, OB <nevilemo...@yahoo.com> wrote: > > > > > > > On May 15, 2:09 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > > > Ideas of March > > > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > > > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > > > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > > > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > > > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > > > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > > > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > > > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > > > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > > > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > > > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > > > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > > > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > > > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > > Right-hander.- > > Thanks. *I'm learning from both my successes and my mistakes (so keep > pointing 'em out). *Here's an example: *both you and Ross pointed out > that, in Busride, the word 'I' in L2 was way too prominent - off to > the right of the rest of the poem. *I wouldn't have seen that > previously. *Knowing about it here, though, allowed me to use that > effect on the second "Just" in L7, the key word in the whole piece. > > I'm thinking about submitting to a magazine. *I've been holding back, > since one piece of advice I've received and listened to was: *Don't > send magazines your first, amateur efforts - if you do, then by the > time you've learned to write they won't be opening your mail any > more. > > But I think I'm ready. *What's your candid opinion?- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - Luck of the draw......it's not whether you think your ready, it's whether "they" think your ready............go for it |
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Re: Ideas of March
"George Dance" <georgedance04@yahoo.ca> wrote in message news:1179321009.126810.93180@e65g2000hsc.googlegro ups.com... > On May 16, 3:19 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote: >> "George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179273984.778898.140080@e65g2000hsc.g ooglegroups.com... >> > On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: >> >> On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: >> >> >> > Ideas of March >> >> > [sung to a Sousa beat] >> >> >> > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born >> >> > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, >> >> > they march past tanks and massed artillery, >> >> > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn >> >> > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust >> >> > that cakes itself in every liquid pore >> >> > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just >> >> > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- >> >> > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother >> >> > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children >> >> > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, >> >> > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- >> >> > Forward they march, to serve their country well, >> >> > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. >> >> >> nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- >> >> > Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet >> >> Really? There is a wap on the top. >> > > > Sousa? He's as American as Old Glory itself. "If you knew Sousa, > like I knew Sousa ..." And some kid may get an A in a essay, years > hence, on Sousa as the symbol connecting ancient Rome (of the title) > with the modern U.S. I miss typed. Should have been "wop on the top" which means you have 4 lines of Italian (Petrarchian) sonnet on the top. Then you add English.  > > The idea of adding on a tune came from Vachel Lindsay; something else > to blame Dennis for, if you want, as he's the one who pointed me in > Lindsay's direction. (Sad how Lindsay's name & work has been expunged > by political correctness.) To die again, and be reborn in Hell Is all a devil forged in East and evil Needs. --- -- ------------------------------------------- AJ - http://ClitIns.Com e In. (800 folders. -- kiddie-filtered -- FREE, Usenet Porn.) |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 16, 10:05 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On May 15, 11:41 pm, OB <nevilemo...@yahoo.com> wrote: > > > > > > > On May 15, 2:09 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > > > Ideas of March > > > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > > > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > > > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > > > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > > > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > > > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > > > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > > > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > > > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > > > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > > > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > > > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > > > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > > > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > > Right-hander.- > > Thanks. I'm learning from both my successes and my mistakes (so keep > pointing 'em out). Here's an example: both you and Ross pointed out > that, in Busride, the word 'I' in L2 was way too prominent - off to > the right of the rest of the poem. I wouldn't have seen that > previously. Knowing about it here, though, allowed me to use that > effect on the second "Just" in L7, the key word in the whole piece. > > I'm thinking about submitting to a magazine. I've been holding back, > since one piece of advice I've received and listened to was: Don't > send magazines your first, amateur efforts - if you do, then by the > time you've learned to write they won't be opening your mail any > more. > > But I think I'm ready. What's your candid opinion?- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - I'm not ready yet, but excessive confidence isn't one of my gifts. In my opinion, you're still on the learning curve. You will be ready soon enough, but not now. |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 16, 9:05 am, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> On May 15, 11:41 pm, OB <nevilemo...@yahoo.com> wrote: > > > > > > > On May 15, 2:09 pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > > > Ideas of March > > > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > > > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > > > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > > > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > > > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > > > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > > > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > > > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > > > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > > > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > > > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > > > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > > > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > > > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > > > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > > Right-hander.- > > Thanks. I'm learning from both my successes and my mistakes (so keep > pointing 'em out). Here's an example: both you and Ross pointed out > that, in Busride, the word 'I' in L2 was way too prominent - off to > the right of the rest of the poem. I wouldn't have seen that > previously. Knowing about it here, though, allowed me to use that > effect on the second "Just" in L7, the key word in the whole piece. > > I'm thinking about submitting to a magazine. I've been holding back, > since one piece of advice I've received and listened to was: Don't > send magazines your first, amateur efforts - if you do, then by the > time you've learned to write they won't be opening your mail any > more. > > But I think I'm ready. What's your candid opinion? My candid opinion is that it depends on the publication. I've seen magazines that will print any rhyming verse as long as it contains references to the moon, flowers, glistening dew on lawns, and (most importantly) the word "heart", looks good in large curly fonts, and as long as nothing in the verse could be construed as offensive to old ladies in seaside rest homes. I've also seen magazines that will only print poetry if it is pseudo-intellectual or cutting-edge contemporary. I haven't seen a publication that would likely welcome the kind of stuff you write (or the kind of stuff I write, for that matter), but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I'm probably the wrong person to ask. I wouldn't even consider sending anything to a publication until I'd written at least a few thousand poems and stress-tested a hundred or so of the best against rowdy live audiences. IOW, I think that unless you have a particular magazine in mind and you're writing to their house style, you're being maybe a little premature. |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 17, 12:40 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote:
> "George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179321009.126810.93180@e65g2000hsc.go oglegroups.com... > > On May 16, 3:19 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote: > >> "George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179273984.778898.140080@e65g2000hsc.g ooglegroups.com... > >> > On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: > >> >> On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > >> >> > Ideas of March > >> >> > [sung to a Sousa beat] > > >> >> > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > >> >> > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > >> >> > they march past tanks and massed artillery, > >> >> > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > >> >> > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > >> >> > that cakes itself in every liquid pore > >> >> > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > >> >> > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > >> >> > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > >> >> > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > >> >> > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > >> >> > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > >> >> > Forward they march, to serve their country well, > >> >> > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > >> >> nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- > > >> > Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet > > >> Really? There is a wap on the top. > > > Sousa? He's as American as Old Glory itself. "If you knew Sousa, > > like I knew Sousa ..." And some kid may get an A in a essay, years > > hence, on Sousa as the symbol connecting ancient Rome (of the title) > > with the modern U.S. > > I miss typed. Should have been "wop on the top" which means > you have 4 lines of Italian (Petrarchian) sonnet on the top. > Then you add English. > D'oh! I got 'wop', but I thought you meant Sousa. I like varying the standard rhyme schemes, for three reasons: first, it often preserves the sense of the story better; second, it's a way to vary mood (abba is more solemn than abab, and the rhyme less ostentatious) for effect; third, it makes my sonnets a bit different, a bit more likely to stand out and be noticed. > > > > The idea of adding on a tune came from Vachel Lindsay; something else > > to blame Dennis for, if you want, as he's the one who pointed me in > > Lindsay's direction. (Sad how Lindsay's name & work has been expunged > > by political correctness.) > > To die again, and be reborn in Hell > Is all a devil forged in East and evil > Needs. --- > > -- > ------------------------------------------- > AJ -http://ClitIns.Come In. > (800 folders. -- kiddie-filtered -- FREE, > Usenet Porn.)- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - |
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Re: Ideas of March
George Dance wrote:
> On May 16, 3:19 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote: > >>"George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179273984.778898.140080@e65g2000hsc.g ooglegroups.com... >> >>>On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: >>> >>>>On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: >> >>>>>Ideas of March >>>>>[sung to a Sousa beat] >> >>>>>Shuffling off to Babylon to be born >>>>>again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, >>>>>they march past tanks and massed artillery, >>>>>machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn >>>>>the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust >>>>>that cakes itself in every liquid pore >>>>>and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just >>>>>the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- >>>>>Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother >>>>>by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children >>>>>that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, >>>>>"They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- >>>>>Forward they march, to serve their country well, >>>>>to die again, and be reborn in Hell. >> >>>>nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- >> >>>Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet >> >>Really? There is a wap on the top. >> Actually, me darlin', that's an Irishman. "Shuffling off to Babylon to be born..." Nobody got it; shoulda stuck to "slouching," which more describes a soldier anyway. > > Sousa? He's as American as Old Glory itself. "If you knew Sousa, > like I knew Sousa ..." And some kid may get an A in a essay, years > hence, on Sousa as the symbol connecting ancient Rome (of the title) > with the modern U.S. And nobody remembered that "Uncle Sammy" Sousa was the Home (tonic) Run Champ of 1890. Well, he only played in the minor keys at the time. -- -------(m+ ~/  )_|I do not "negotiate" for half my baby back, Solomon. http://scrawlmark.org |
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Re: Ideas of March
On May 17, 10:34 am, "Dennis M. Hammes" <scrawlm...@arvig.net> wrote:
> George Dance wrote: > > On May 16, 3:19 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote: > > >>"George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179273984.778898.140080@e65g2000hsc.g ooglegroups.com... > > >>>On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: > > >>>>On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: > > >>>>>Ideas of March > >>>>>[sung to a Sousa beat] > > >>>>>Shuffling off to Babylon to be born > >>>>>again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, > >>>>>they march past tanks and massed artillery, > >>>>>machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn > >>>>>the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust > >>>>>that cakes itself in every liquid pore > >>>>>and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just > >>>>>the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- > >>>>>Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother > >>>>>by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children > >>>>>that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, > >>>>>"They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- > >>>>>Forward they march, to serve their country well, > >>>>>to die again, and be reborn in Hell. > > >>>>nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- > > >>>Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet > > >>Really? There is a wap on the top. > > Actually, me darlin', that's an Irishman. I thought Jinn meant Sousa; turned out he was talking about Petrarch. But, yes, Yeats is up there in the first line. > > "Shuffling off to Babylon to be born..." > Nobody got it; shoulda stuck to "slouching," which more describes > a soldier anyway. > "Shuffling off" is a reference to Al Dubin's "Shuffle off to Buffalo." The idea of mentioning that (along with Sousa, and Babylon itself, FTM) was to have the readers think of GIs in Iraq, without mentioning them (Note: Becauise it's not about them; this is any Army of Vengeance marching on any City of Evil.) > > > Sousa? He's as American as Old Glory itself. "If you knew Sousa, > > like I knew Sousa ..." And some kid may get an A in a essay, years > > hence, on Sousa as the symbol connecting ancient Rome (of the title) > > with the modern U.S. > > And nobody remembered that "Uncle Sammy" Sousa was the Home (tonic) > Run Champ of 1890. > Well, he only played in the minor keys at the time. > |
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Re: Ideas of March
"George Dance" <georgedance04@yahoo.ca> wrote in message news:1179416089.697992.189080@n59g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com... > On May 17, 12:40 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote: >> "George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179321009.126810.93180@e65g2000hsc.go oglegroups.com... >> > On May 16, 3:19 am, "Amadeus Jinn" <a-j...@here.nu> wrote: >> >> "George Dance" <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote in messagenews:1179273984.778898.140080@e65g2000hsc.g ooglegroups.com... >> >> > On May 15, 7:32 pm, fishandchips <Chippandf...@aol.com> wrote: >> >> >> On May 15, 3:09?pm, George Dance <georgedanc...@yahoo.ca> wrote: >> >> >> >> > Ideas of March >> >> >> > [sung to a Sousa beat] >> >> >> >> > Shuffling off to Babylon to be born >> >> >> > again, in knife-sharp lines of infantry, >> >> >> > they march past tanks and massed artillery, >> >> >> > machinery themselves -- No pause to mourn >> >> >> > the dead, to feel the baking heat or the dust >> >> >> > that cakes itself in every liquid pore >> >> >> > and blinds the eyes -- Just marching onward -- Just >> >> >> > the thought of vengeance to be theirs once more -- >> >> >> > Eyes forward, not to note the weeping mother >> >> >> > by the burned hut, or spy the ragged children >> >> >> > that gather in gangs, whispering to one another, >> >> >> > "They killed my father; one day I will kill them" -- >> >> >> > Forward they march, to serve their country well, >> >> >> > to die again, and be reborn in Hell. >> >> >> >> nice to see some free form from you, George.......like it- >> >> >> > Hey, f&c, that's a sonnet >> >> >> Really? There is a wap on the top. >> >> > Sousa? He's as American as Old Glory itself. "If you knew Sousa, >> > like I knew Sousa ..." And some kid may get an A in a essay, years >> > hence, on Sousa as the symbol connecting ancient Rome (of the title) >> > with the modern U.S. >> >> I miss typed. Should have been "wop on the top" which means >> you have 4 lines of Italian (Petrarchian) sonnet on the top. >> Then you add English. >> > > > D'oh! I got 'wop', but I thought you meant Sousa. I played the trombone in elementary school. > I like varying the > standard rhyme schemes, for three reasons: first, it often preserves > the sense of the story better; second, it's a way to vary mood (abba > is more solemn than abab, and the rhyme less ostentatious) for effect; > third, it makes my sonnets a bit different, a bit more likely to stand > out and be noticed. Have fun... When something is very close to a sonnet - I personally prefer it follow the standard rules of the form. Some near rhyme doesn't hurt. Want to help? I will give you credit. > > > > >> >> >> > The idea of adding on a tune came from Vachel Lindsay; something else >> > to blame Dennis for, if you want, as he's the one who pointed me in >> > Lindsay's direction. (Sad how Lindsay's name & work has been expunged >> > by political correctness.) >> >> To die again, and be reborn in Hell >> Is all a devil forged in East and evil >> Needs. --- >> >> -- >> ------------------------------------------- >> AJ -http://ClitIns.Come In. >> (800 folders. -- kiddie-filtered -- FREE, >> Usenet Porn.)- Hide quoted text - >> >> - Show quoted text - > > |
