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The Puppy Wizard
 
Default Re: the value of children

HOWEDY leah,

"Leah" <dfrntdrums@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20041030135103.21321.00002601@mb-m15.aol.com...
> >Cate notreally.orson14850@yahoo.com

> wrote:
>
> >No, and I wouldn't inflict it on anyone else, either.
> >The most responsible thing to do--both in the
> >interest of the child and of the dog--is to euthanize.


That's NORMAL for a dog abusing mental case.

> No no, you dog abuser!


Right. All behavior problems are caused
by mishanding and can be CURED NEARLY
INSTANTLY.

> You should PRAISE the dog for biting the child!


RIGHT.

That way the dog won't CONtinue to be FEAR
AGGRESSIVE of small children and GET MURDERED
like your pal tara o. aka tee done to her own DEAD
DOG Summer.

> It should only take 2-4 bites,


It should only take 2-4 MINUTES to EXXXTINGUISH
FEAR AGGRESSION if you know HOWE.

> and he'll automagically stop.


JUST LIKE FREAKIN MAGICK, only BETTER.

But you don't know HOWE, you lying dog
abusing murdering punk thug coward mental
case.

You're a FRAUD.

> Canine Action Dog Trainer
> http://www.canineaction.com



> -----Original Message-----
> From: Amanda [mailto:amanda@dcfwatch.com]
> Sent: Tuesday, January 14, 2003 7:14 PM
> Subject: Re: Discipline
>
> On Tuesday 14 January 2003 20:47, T__ wrote:
>
> funny you bring this up... i met the most wonderful
> couple.. man and wife.. he's a dog trainer.. all his life
> who uses a technique that is ONLY praise and distraction
> with some family pack exercises.
>
>They spent the day with us sunday helping me on my
> two pits... one is a protective/aggressive 20 month old
> female who is my bubby and our 7 week male pup.
> anyway.. not only did i nip any and all aggression issues
> in mere minutes...he and his wife helped me with my kids.
>
> I was and always have been a spanker.
>
> It is all i knew how.. i never, ever wanted to be..
> but i was. my house/kids were out of control..
> i was always stressed.
>
> Since he and his wife came down sunday we've
> had a HUGE change... for the first time the kids
> didn't destroy my house before i woke up... my
> 3yo was in my bed coloring waiting for us to wake
> up... this is the first time she ever used paper
> she usually does walls, furniture.
>
> Anyway.. he told me to use sound/praise.. and it works.
>
> I have a 6 yo, 3.5 yo who is psycho child and a very
> bad-a$$ 19 month old. They are all smarter than I am and
> know it There has not been a temper tantrum in two
> days in my house.
>
> You guys have no idea how great this is.
>
> But best of all.. this method does NOT use the evil eye
> or a tone of that is in any way short of absolute praise..
> no shouting.. not even a quiet Chloe!.. nada.. ONLY
> praise.
>
> They even taught my kids not to take candy unless
> i say so.. (my oldest will literally let you pierce her
> ears for candy..
>
> it's been done twice and i keep taking em out) and
> now the bag of blow pops i forget on the floor in my
> closet (where we keep the girl's dressed) is still there
> and NO ONE has eaten one! My 3 yo is even helping
> me pick up the house.. the baby took my lingerie chest
> apart.. and she cleaned it up! first time!
>
> They don't even go out the open door without my
> offering it! they helped me sort laundry.. clean the
> living room... im amazed. The 3 yo got some yogurt
> from the fridge andwalked to our kitchen table, sat
> down and ate it.. she REFUSES to sit at the table
> and eat!
>
> We also taught them and the dogs to sit pretty so
> when they're climbing on my couch.. i go Can you
> show me how you sit pretty?? and they ALL hop
> down and show me to sit pretty with their feet NOT
> on the cofee table.. hands friggin folded.. i almost
> fell over..
>
> thanks for reminding me to share my joy!
>
> I'm not a spanker! I don't even yell! lol!
>
> here i picked names that shout well and i don't need em!!!
>
> > how old is your bub amanda? waht's the bub doing?/
> > Hello again ladies,
> > Amanda, I love your signature. I also do not spank my
> > daughter, however, she is at an age where she really is
> > asserting her independence.
> > Can anyone help with ideas of what I can do? Blessings,
> > T.


Subject: Re Discipline. Also, SLEEP!
Date: Wed, 15 Jan 2003 02:38:46 -0500
From: Amanda <amanda@dcfwatch.com>

> Can you go into this a little more? How did they
> accomplish all this in one day?


My learning is progressive. I email or call him with
questions. But, i'm getting most of it myself. Something
clicked.

How would we do it with our families?

that is kind of broad.. ask me specifics... or i'd still be
typing when your kids are in college

> I really have problems controlling my temper when I am
> already stressed out and then C__ is hurting me:


Me too.. i was abused... my mom was psycho... and i had
problems with anger.. i took it personally when my 6 yr old
wouldn't clean her room... i would sometimes cry is was so
strung out.. i didn't wanna spank but i didn't know what to do
instead.. so i spanked.. and then spanking didn't work.. and
then my dogs went nuts and i called this trainer and he showed
me how to do it.

pulling my hair, scratching me, slapping me, etc.

Mine hit me on purpose alot.. scratching.. climbing on me..
hurting me and then laughing.

Now as I post.. please don't think im trying to be a know it
all.. i simply wanna relay what i have learned... as it is
i've only been spank free for a week now and yell free for two
days (my neighbors two streets over are happy

Children, dogs, people.. they do thinks wrong because it
ellicits your ultimate attention. Does your 3 year old enjoy
fingerpainting on walls? no... do they enjoy fighting the minute
you pick up the phone?? No.

They *know* they can command your attention.. and that's
what they
want. same reason your dogs fight.. they think it is
controlling you.

Your kids want you watching their every move.. making sure
they eat.. dont talk to strangers.. because it means you are
watching THEM and not them watching you as it should be. they
should stay within x feet of you.. because they like mom and
she's cool and she keeps em safe... they shouldn't run and
expect you to chase them.. because you won't always be there
to chase them... that's how kids die or get lost.

When they learn to follow you.. it's all good.

Now, take my 19 mo old. She had this habit of sipping 4 oz
from her bottle and demanding more. if i didn't refill it..
she threw a hgue fit. Now she hands me her bottle and says
more.. and i tickle her... then i pick up her bottle and
pretend im drinking it.. i offer her a drink and snatch it
back saying MY Baba!! She wants that bottle.. so she takes it
and drinks it.. even tho i didn't refill it. we had a huge
problem with them taking things they cant have and when i
wanted it they ran... now i give the baby (19mo) my finger..
and she grabs it.. and i wiggle and shout My finger! that's
mine! Gimme it back.. playfully.. and she resists.. and i go
"Ooh.. can i have it please?" and she gives it to me and i
gleefully say Thank you! and she says you're welcome.. and i
give her the finger back... then i hand her say a lighter...
and we wrestle for a minute.. and i say... can i have that???
and she gives it over etc. Of course sometimes she'll have a
cool! book! and ill ask can i have that.. and shell say No.
and i say that's ok! and tickle her or snap my fingers and
say good girl naya.. good job.. then ill start my game again
and wrestle and try to take it gently... then.. can i have
that??? she gives it over. this works with everything now.

> Or when he's ripping up my homework or something like
> that.


Yea... with the dog training you hide nothing.. no forced
control. you set the dog up for fail.. so you can distract
and praise and erase the thought.. same with the kids. Put
some unimportant paper all over.. when he goes to touch it..
make a sound and distract him.. then good boy, that's a nice
baby!... then repeat.. the minute he goes for the paper and
breaks the thgouth you throw him in the air and praise like
mad!

> How would I apply this in those situations? Also, what do
> you do in 'danger' situations (until you're close enough
> to distract them) - climbing on things, sticking metal
> objects into electrical outlets, trying to get into the
> oven, etc.?


Use your judgement.. if you have the distance/time to
distract... do it.. if you don't... pick them up and away..
but act like it's to throw em in the air.. so they don't know
youre forcing control by phsycially removing them... cuz when
you force control.. with the come command when you want your
dog away from something... or when you pull a dirty shoe from
your baby's mouth.. you put value on it.

Like when your kid puts a penny in its mouth.. youll try to
pry its mouth open to get it... and he'll clamp right down..
you gave that penny VALUE! it's not just a piece of crap..
mom WANTS IT!

so.. instead you make a game.. say you want em to smit it
out... walk somewhere else... attract their attention.. be
kinda sneaky... odds are the thing in their mought will get
annoying and they'll spit it out when they walk toward you...
if all else fails.. pry it outta their smiling jaws... snatch
em up away from falling down... but only when you have to..
then work realy hard to overcome that forced control.

Also don't make a big deal about it.. or else theyll learn not
only to command your attention, but also mom will always catch
me so she is watching me.. not me watching her.

> I never realized how spirited C__ was until I started
> tending other kids.


those are my kids. I have had social workers with their
degrees in child development stop offering me services cuz
they couldn't handle my kids... my friends call mine the
obstinate kids.

> They're docile kittens compared to C__! This brings up
> another question - what do you do when YOUR child is the
> bully?


if you catch it before it happens.. loud sound.. big
distraction and PRAISE. if you catch it afterward... distract
and say oh my goodness! and pay attention to the other kid...
he wont get the attention... then explain how that hurts.
odds are your kid won't hurt another kid if he truly
understands its not nice.

> C__ is always beating the other boy over the head when he
> comes over.
> We don't hit in anger in our family


i have.. everyone does in my family... i did it a few times
over 4 years... but that is because i didn't know how not to.
i know now.. and i wanna tell everyone i can.. so someone else
doesn't spank their kids due to a lack of knowledge.

> (we do it playfully sometimes, so we are curtailing that
> in case it is giving him ideas)


my kids, 6yo, 3yo and 19 month old, favorite game is chasing
around the house (all 4 of us) with wooden spools yelling at
the top of our lungs "I'm gonna beat your a$$.. HA HA HA... no
IM gonna beat YOUR a$$ MU HA HA HA" my neighbors prolly
think im nuts.. but the kids love it dog even plays too

> but I admit that after I have been trying to get him to go
> to sleep for 45 minutes, I get a little rough sometimes.
> It's really frustrating. He'll be dead tired - eyes
> bright red, fussy, eyes almost closing every 5 seconds.


It gets worse... they all do it around that time.. they don't
want to sleep.. andyou know what? they don't grow out of it
until they're parents it's one of those times you have to
use your patience and keep distracting and praising.

> So I'll take him into the bedroom, and lay down to nurse
> him. He'll nurse for about 5 seconds and then jump up and
> run to the window and start bending the blinds.


he wants you upset.. he wants your undivided attention. you
have to refuse it.. no evil eye.. no "conner" quiet or not..
no anger.. complete nonchalance.. they have to have a total
complete entire lack fo negative attention.. and all they'll
be able to do is sit back and enjoy the positive!

One shout.. one name call.. one No! and it takes awhile to
work up to the positive only.

> So I gently pick him up and lay him back down.


try not to.. but if you have to ok

> And we repeat the process over 10000 times.


when he goes to sit up.. when yous see the thought on his
face.. distract with sound and follow with praise or a song or
giggle.

> Then I get frustrated and lay him down less gently.


better than my method of plop em in the crib and let em cry.
No anger.. stay calm.. meditate, pray.. breath.. try to
remember they will not always be this small.. and youll never,
ever for anything get it back. it's what im using

> That makes him cry, which is the last straw that
> FINALLY gets him to nurse to sleep.


He got you riled up.. what he wanted.. time to sleep.

> Writing it out, I thought of something. He must have a
> lot of excess tension he needs to release before sleeping,
> and finally crying releases it for him.


no way... crying isn't a release.. sometimes.. maybe for
some people.. crying is frustration, pain, hunger,
sadness... sometimes joy.. sometimes tension.. but not
because of his life.. because he's insecure... their dealing
with negative and positive.. and thats what makes em
insecure.

> Any good ways to do this that don't involve crying?


distraction and praise.. if all else fails get up and dance..
fast for day.. slow rocking at night.

> Turning on soft music and swaying in the sling used to
> work for us, but now he either grabs at everything he can
> reach or bends over backwards until he's hanging upside
> down.


cuzhe knows what you're doing. hold him instead.. or sit him
in your lap on the bed and rock

> Putting the sling over his shoulders to prevent that
> doesn't work either. He acts like he is being tortured
> and screams and fights to get out.


becuase it is forced control.

> Katie


Amanda


The Puppy Wizard sez "A dog is a dog as a child
is a child. They only respond in PREDICTABLE
NORMAL NATURAL INNATE REFLEXIVE ways to
situations and circumstances of their environment
which we create for them.

ALL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ARE CAUSED BY
MISHANDLING. Damn The Descartean War of
"Nature Vs Nurture." We Teach By HOWER Words
And Actions And GET BACK What We TAUGHT.

In The Problem Animal Behavior BUSINESS
FAILURE MEANS DEATH. SAME SAME SAME
SAME, For The Problem Child Behavior BUSINESS.



"If you talk with the animals, they will talk with you and you
will know each other. If you do not talk to them, you will not
know them, and what you do not know you will fear.

What one fears, one destroys."
Chief Dan George

Adapted with permission from his FREE copy
of The Puppy Wizard's FREE WWW Wits'
End Dog Training Method Manual.

The Puppy Wizard. <{}; ~ ) >



 
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