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YourDoggysMo...@HushMail.Com Jun 10, 12:32 pm show options

Newsgroups: alt.animals.dog, alt.animals.rights.promotion,
alt.pets.dogs.pitbull, rec.pets.dogs.behavior, alt.pets.dogs.labrador
From: YourDoggysMo...@HushMail.Com - Find messages by this author
Date: 10 Jun 2005 09:32:40 -0700
Local: Fri,Jun 10 2005 12:32 pm
Subject: Re: Dog Eating Feces
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From: bringmewa...@gmail.com - Find messages by this author
Date: 8 Jun 2005 15:18:55 -0700



> BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHAHAHAHHA****HAAAA!!


The SECRET S-HOWEND: "HOWECH!!!~
TODAY WAS A BITING DAY"
ceasar milan, "the dog whisperer"

HOWEDY People!


Watchin the fameHOWES dog trainer caesar milan aka
the dog whisperer on National Geographic T.V. clearly
demonstrats HOWE COME you shouldn't ought to DO what
the EXXXPERTS do to train your dog on accHOWENT of
we DON'T WANT to have to say HOWECH!


THAT'S on accHOWENT of for the average dog when his
people say HOWECH! sometimes ONLY WONCE, they wince
and MURDER the dog on accHOWENT of THAT is the human
nature of a DOG ABUSER.


Dogs ONLY attack when they're AFRAID <{); ~ ) >


ALL AGGRESSION IS FEAR.


ALL FEAR is CAUSED BY MISHANDLING.


ALL FEAR CAN BE CURED NEARLY INSTANTLY THROUGH PRAISE.


The EXXXPERTS like to categorize FEAR AGGRESSION
into variHOWES fantasies (eg, EXXXCUSES for not
bein able to TRAIN the dog) abHOWET alphalpha or
duminance or PRAY DRIVE behaviors. They think
the most aggressive dogs are "alphas" when IN
FACT, the most aggressive are the most fearful
and present their fear as aggression. A true
alphalpha FEARS NUTHIN therefore NEVER NEEDS
to rely on fear force or intimidation to get
his way.


HOWE COME these EXXXPERTS think dogs may bite
if they're in pain? Do humans bite their care
takers just on accHOWENT of a treatment or
procedure HURTS a little? Of curse not, but
humans DO attack if a stranger or someWON
THEY DON'T TRUST hurt or intimidated them,
KINDA LIKE HOWE HOWER EXXXPERT the dog
whisperer does when he SEZ: "HOWECH!"


BWEEEEEEEEEEEEAAHAHAHHAHHAAAA!***!!


"Kitchen Etiquette"


Dog goes BONKERS when the toaster pups up:


"Put the dog on leash to prevent IT from runnin
HOWET on you and jerk and choke IT if he does
the behavior". In todays case the dog feared the
toaster puppin up. caesar desensitized the dog
to the toaster by chasing and cornering IT and
graspin IT in his fameHOWES CHOKE HOLD while
pinning IT up against the wall and gently
whispered "I'll freakin murder your sorry dead
ass if you ever try that crap again in two
dialects of Spanish, Jive, American Sign language,
and university psychobabble and alphaphal duminance
anthropomorphistic jargon which the caes calls
"SHARING YOUR LOVE" <{) ; ~ ) >


Of curse, caesar sez they'll have to CONTINUE puttin
the dog on leash and jerking and choking IT EVERY
TIME IT repeats the behavior and he's CONfident they'll
FOLLOW THROUGH with the CORRECTIVE TECHNIQUES which
the DISCLAIMER SEZ should not done withHOWET the
EXXXPERT GUIDANCE of an IN PERSON PET PROFESSIONAL,
like caesar or any of the adam katz Mafia webring
of shock collar salesmen <{); ~ ) >


CITY DOG / FARM DOG


Todays next LUCKY pet is a farm dog livin in the sity,
a Chesapeak Retriever. "So, we should keep the CHOKE
CHAIN on him ALL THE TIME?" sez the guillible soon to
learn to be dog abusers. "You are a SCENT, with ENERGY"
sez the caes as he goes into bringing compassion into
the the startling cure for this dog's constant crying
for attention, which the caes dutifully diagnoses as
an OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE behavior...


"So the dog NHOWE needs a JOB."


The poor Cheseapeak Retriever was jerked and choked
and intimidated for EVERY NORMAL NATURAL INNATE
INSTINCTIVE REFLEXIVE and OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE
behavior till "HIS MIND IS AT EASE".


Thanks again, caes!


Groomin The TrHOWEBLED Dog


"HIS DARKER SIDE"


"At her Wits' End" the lady calls the dog whisperer.


"She grHOWELS at EVERY WON, even people she knows."


IN FACT, dogs ALMOST ONLY grHOWEL at PEOPLE THEY KNOW
as STRANGERS DO NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP which has taught
the dog to FEAR them.


The Dog Whisperer Teaches
TRUST RESPECT AFFECTION LEADERSHIP
AND PUNCTURES


"EveryWON got to be a AUTHORITY figgure"


"The Grooming SHOWE DHOWEN"


"HOWECH!" sez the caes AGAIN bleeding profHOWESLY
from several fingers after takin the dog for his
SPECIAL BONDING walkies to establish hisself as
THE AUTHORITY FIGURE, to instill TRUST and RESPECT
in HIS NEW LEADER... "NHOWE I ONLY JUST MET this
dog and established this bond through talking and
walking with him.


"The Grooming Begins" after carefully washing and
sterilized bandages have been applied to caesars
bloody stumps so's he don't get blood all over
the lazy white dog... whe evidently don't want a
job. "I'm NOT CHOKING him, I'm just holding him
tightly" in that special "mom dog bite grasp"
interspersed with his "SECRET S-HOWEND".


"HOWECH!!!~ Another burst of energy" sez he, as
the caes escallates to a DHOWEBLE FISTED CHOKE
HOLD. "I'm not holding tight NHOWE, you see he's
learning to relHOWECHax and TRUST us NHOWE.


You've just got to assume the energy of a
professional nurse and treat the dog as a
patient in need of HOWER HEELP."


"NHOWE I've got the dog of my dreams," sez the
nurse in a voice over the printed disclaimer
that we shouldn't ought to DO THAT withHOWET
the heelp of a professional dog trainer who
knows HOWE to instill TRUST and AFFECTION
through LEADERSHIP and of curse, that SECRET
S-HOWEND: "HOWECH!!!"


If you watch closely, you'll see the caes RELAXXX
as the dogs gnaw on his fingers as he gently chokes
them till their eyes roll up in the back of their
heads and the blood PHOWENDING in their ears as
they struggle gasping for air all the while being
mindful of the secret S-HOWEND of RESPECT.


BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHAHAHAHH***AHHAAAA!!!


The Amazing Puppy Wizard <{) ; ~ ) >